Skip to main content

Nr. 1


Hey guys,
My name is Sindre and this is probably the 11th blog I’ve started (all with 1-3 posts before abandoned). I don’t know why the previous ten didn’t discouraged me from starting this one. Maybe I’m a slow learner or haven’t found my pace yet. Yes, let’s go with the latter. 

I am currently living with depression. ‘Suffer’ sounds like such a harsh word, although I’m not sure the description of a ‘houseguest’ give the serious condition its proper severity. No matter what semantic ride you’d go for ‘depression’ is at least what I have. And before you click away thinking this will be another blog about complaining or despairing, just remember that I sometimes bake cookies and give them away for free...ok, thank you (I’m assuming you didn’t leave, if you did you can’t read this and if you are then you’re still here!) 

I guess what I’m trying to do is to get myself to do something. I’m not in a state where I can’t visit friends or leave the house, but if there’s nothing on the schedule I am prone to lie still in bed and let the mind wander. Not just about negativity (I call the worst days ‘low days’), I spend a great deal of time thinking about how to make things better. Everything...anything. So hopefully this blog will perhaps give me an outlet for those thoughts and ideas and at the same time give me the motivation to just get up and do something. Even if no one reads this I will at least be able to categorize my ideas. They might be fruitless in themselves but can perhaps serve a personal purpose of getting better. 


I hope this post didn’t leave you with the feeling of waste, but if it did I apologize. However, if it didn’t scare you off completely and you still want to join me in this strange daily journey I’ll try my best to keep you both entertained and curious about life’s obstacles and its peculiar redeeming paths. I wish you a beautiful day and hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow. ❤️

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Nr. 54

Right now it’s half an hour until my psychiatry appointment. I’m on the bus. The radio is humming Scorpions with ‘Wind of Change’. How serendipitous or ironic. I also forgot my coke bottle at home. Great.   Going from the two hour conversation with my Dad about renovation and other practical things to explaining deep emotional and psychological turmoil will be interesting. Oddly enough I see that as a challenge which bodes well. I’m slightly more optimistic about this session than my first. But I’m still not yet settled. It feels frightening. Not to talk about things, but to fail.  Well, at least I’m here now. Lets do this then.  Edit: a stranger smiled at me today. It’s interesting how incredibly powerful such a small thing can be. Thank you. ❤️
Post a Comment
Read more

Nr. 60

Next month I’m attending a wedding. I’ve been so busy thinking about practical things (like finding a suit to wear and what to bring as it is for a weekend getaway) that I didn’t realize until now that I actually need to socialize. Meaning talk about my current situation. I’m officially on sick leave due to depression which isn’t really the most festive conversation starter at a wedding (or any event really). As much as I really want to celebrate my friends getting married, I simultaneously feel stressed as to have I’m gonna phrase this. I know there are people out there with far greater difficulties than me, even within my friend circle probably, which makes me even more frustrated about my worry. I’m positive I will get through it of course. I even know despite my definite self torment of reviewing my ‘performance’ I will get by.  But I still feel slightly anxious about it. I used to be ok attending events with strangers when I could smalltalk about my work and then swiftly...
Post a Comment
Read more

Nr. 23

I’ve noticed an increase in my perfectionism. It’s subtle and not entirely destructive. Or perhaps it is but more indirectly if that’s the case. I have started to multitask quite ferociously. I noticed the other day that whenever I do something, like say cooking, I also use my iPad to read or watch something. I bring it with me and do the cooking automatically. I also do this whilst watching a TV-show...I have my iPhone and I read news articles at the same time. I am able to concentrate on both things but I might be more detached emotionally if I’m watching something. And I guess herein lies the crux of it. It feels l might be either avoiding or protecting my emotions at the moment. Distracting myself. And I know that just watching some tv-show or movie won’t do it alone, I need to fully immerse myself, all the time.  I have also theorized that perfectionism might be one of the reasons I stay up so late and refuse to sleep; I want to avoid missing out and rather utilize a...
Post a Comment
Read more