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Nr. 65

Back at it again.
Not sure what I have to say. The last week I’ve been having disparaging thoughts on just giving up. I don’t know what that even means. I have no wish to do anything harmful or tragic, but I don’t seem to want to continue either. This will be a part of recovery, I know. But I felt I’ve been here before and even if I get some glimmer of a good future I don’t really believe it will happen to me. All my life I’ve had some form of goal or direction, and even though I know not having any  doesn’t necessarily translate to bad, I just don’t see myself in a positive light. I’m tired of trying, pushing, fighting, being patient. I’ve got all the counter arguments against this...but I just don’t feel them anymore. 

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