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Nr. 11


I am safe. I’ll see you tomorrow. ❤️

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Nr. 42

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Nr. 48

Last night I found an old video on my phone that someone had sent me on the day before Christmas. It was a short clip of The Snowman, probably my favorite Christmas cartoon of all time (I also have a soft spot for Donald’s Snow Fight!). They had filmed the TV directly and it was from the moment they fly and the song ‘Walking in the Air” begins.  The reason this is my favorite is that I always used to watch it with my mother and sister during Christmas. My sister often cried as the story is quite sad. We all loved the song. When I was older (at the ripe age of 24 I think) I made my mom a framed cross stitching embroidery of the boy and the snowman. It wasn’t the best gift, but it made her happy. A little over a year later her cancer got worse and we were told she only had a matter of weeks left. I visited her at the hospital a few times and we talked about everything including The Snowman. I wish I had the courage to visit every day, but it was hard for me to see her, which re...
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Nr. 64

Nr. 64 I’ve known for quite some time now how little I care about myself. It’s one of the reasons why I had no problem giving everything of myself to others, as I feel I have nothing worth saving for myself (which has opened my eyes to one big reason why my relationships hasn’t work out, but that’s another story). It sounds awfully self pitying, except that I don’t really feel sorry for myself nor do expect others to either. I can change the way I think about or view myself, but that would be trying to mask or bypass what’s objectively true. Normally I would be ok with this ridiculous dejection, but when it is combined with a ‘low’ it can turn quite unappetizing and worth hiding. I have a small core base of people willing to help me. Who are waiting for my call. Even though at this point it’s like waiting for Godot. Even my psychiatrist asked me the other day why I didn’t call when I was at my worst last week. I couldn’t really give her a good answer. Pride? Stubbornness? Or pe...
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