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Nr. 12

The last posts have been unusually dark for which I apologize for. I know I’m allowed to have my dark days and lows, but hopefully the upbeat posts will cumulatively outnumber the gloomy ones.

I’m currently at my Dad’s cabin. It’s located on an island in the middle of Tyrifjorden in Norway, about 40min from Oslo. Him and his father, my grandfather, built it during the 60s. It was no bridge at that time so all the materials were brought by boat, though during winter they could go by a truck over the ice. It’s Norway after all. 
As the saying goes with cabins you’re never done renovating, so it continues to this day. By now it is more or less a normal house. 

I’ve always liked the location. It’s right by the fjord with a beautiful view. It’s quiet and you don’t really see any neighboring cabins. As I kid I loved it; as a teen I didn’t enjoy it that much as i was more preoccupied trying to be cool and hang with my friends; as a young adult I didn’t really care that much as international travels seemed more intriguing; now I finally understand what a true gem this place is. Short drive from Oslo, completely surrounded by water and nature and a cosy interior. 

And that’s what I need right now. Two of my best friends are coming tomorrow and are staying the weekend. I already feel a change. Not necessarily just for the healing power the cabin seems to have, but I have been completely overwhelmed by kind comments and messages on instagram, and talks with loved ones. I also had a tiny epiphany yesterday. It seems so obvious, but I just wanted to live. I wanted nothing else but to live. My one goal in life is to be able to give all my love for the benefit of others. It sounds self sacrificing, but for me it is a matter of devotion and true love. I want to give. My exterior ambition is to publish a book. If it takes years or decades then so be it. If it sells no copies I won’t fret. 


Things look brighter today. It won’t last forever, but I will remember the feeling and sensation of a future oriented self. ❤️

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