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Nr. 36

I’m completely immersed in ‘A History of Western Philosophy’, which conjured both negative and positive feelings. I quickly realized (for the millionth time) how scarce my pool of knowledge is, yet I do manage to bask in the euphoria of learning. However, If any of this will stick to my mediocre brain is still up for debate though. 

Parallel to my quest for insight lies another uncharacteristic activity which is taking care of my adopted 5 plants. Three orchids and two peace lilies. They were in pretty rough shape when I started tending to them and considering I have never had green thumbs I felt this was a dead end for these poor plants. But I did some light research and soon enough they started to get stronger. Now I must point out to those who are unfamiliar with both peace lilies and phalaenopsis (orchids) that these are in no way difficult to care for...they are some of the strongest and easiest to maintain. So I’m not an expert by far. But what it did give me was a newfound love for plants. I really feel I’m taking care of them and it brings me such wonderful joy to see a new leaf spring forth. They are definitely my green buddies and I hope I’ll be able to nourish them to live a long and happy life. 

It’s Sunday and I’m treating myself to making a chili. I’m making a ridiculously large batch so I can freeze it in portions. 

I noticed I had lost about 5 kilos in about 10 days. I did want to lose weight, but perhaps I’m doing it quite extreme. The last time I wanted to shed weight I lost 10 kilos in 16 days. I quit sugary drinks and ate mostly chicken and vegetables alongside a rigorous workout. I have been working out a tiny bit, but not as rigorously as this last year with no activity didn’t exactly do wonders for my muscles. It can be quite demotivating to realize how deteriorating my health is compared to when I was active. I know that shouldn’t be a factor but when I can barely do ten push ups now and were able to do ten with three fingers on one hand when I was 20, I do question why I stopped working out. But it’s not about beating my own records, it’s about getting stronger physically so I can be able to function more properly. I can be quite strict with myself, but I need to do it in my own pace and not be micromanaged. 


Wow, this post was all over the place. But at least I’m focusing on other things than my depression. 😅👍🏻 

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