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Nr. 62

I don’t think I’ll be able to keep going each day with this blog. Which is actually very sad. When I started I felt so positive about it, but now I feel it has been consumed by negativity and depression. I don’t feel any better. I wanted this blog to be a safe haven for me, but I feel all I touch turn to ash. Depression is truly poisonous and it has altered my mind. I can’t think straight or find positivity. I’m truly struggling each day just to get out of bed. Some days I’ve not moved at all. 

But on I go. The need to not hurt others is strong within me, as it is with most people suffering from depression; we know the pain a suicide will inflict. I definitely know all about it. Maybe in a morbidly poetic way my experience with death in my family is what might save me from committing suicide. 


This might be the last entry for a while. I’ll return though. Hopefully more cheerful and with a deeper focus on philosophy and ideas, not just my depression. 

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