It’s been a night with only 2 hours of sleep and one of the toughest lows. I got up at 7:15am and got ready to do my errands. I almost broke and stayed in bed, but realized that would just make it worse. I have tried my best to mend myself today with spoiling myself between errands to sit down by the water to enjoy breakfast and lunch. It was nice and sunny, but I couldn’t quite get rid of the depression. I hope the rest of the day will cheer me up. Spending it with a dear friend who always manage to brighten my mood. ❤️
I’ve noticed an increase in my perfectionism. It’s subtle and not entirely destructive. Or perhaps it is but more indirectly if that’s the case. I have started to multitask quite ferociously. I noticed the other day that whenever I do something, like say cooking, I also use my iPad to read or watch something. I bring it with me and do the cooking automatically. I also do this whilst watching a TV-show...I have my iPhone and I read news articles at the same time. I am able to concentrate on both things but I might be more detached emotionally if I’m watching something. And I guess herein lies the crux of it. It feels l might be either avoiding or protecting my emotions at the moment. Distracting myself. And I know that just watching some tv-show or movie won’t do it alone, I need to fully immerse myself, all the time. I have also theorized that perfectionism might be one of the reasons I stay up so late and refuse to sleep; I want to avoid missing out and rather utilize a...
Comments
Post a Comment