Skip to main content

Nr. 8

So, despite having a slight meltdown last night, I managed to post three images on instagram today containing a long caption on my current state. It wasn’t elegant. I felt it was honest, but an extremely simplified version of the truth. Not that I’m ‘dumbing down’ the writing, but just trying to be as clear as I can be. Although I don’t really feel like I managed that. No surprise there.

I keep promising to come back the next day with more gusto and interesting topics, so hopefully one day I will. But for now I will just make one promise to myself and that is to be back tomorrow. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Nr. 62

I don’t think I’ll be able to keep going each day with this blog. Which is actually very sad. When I started I felt so positive about it, but now I feel it has been consumed by negativity and depression. I don’t feel any better. I wanted this blog to be a safe haven for me, but I feel all I touch turn to ash. Depression is truly poisonous and it has altered my mind. I can’t think straight or find positivity. I’m truly struggling each day just to get out of bed. Some days I’ve not moved at all.  But on I go. The need to not hurt others is strong within me, as it is with most people suffering from depression; we know the pain a suicide will inflict. I definitely know all about it. Maybe in a morbidly poetic way my experience with death in my family is what might save me from committing suicide.  This might be the last entry for a while. I’ll return though. Hopefully more cheerful and with a deeper focus on philosophy and ideas, not just my depression. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Nr. 60

Next month I’m attending a wedding. I’ve been so busy thinking about practical things (like finding a suit to wear and what to bring as it is for a weekend getaway) that I didn’t realize until now that I actually need to socialize. Meaning talk about my current situation. I’m officially on sick leave due to depression which isn’t really the most festive conversation starter at a wedding (or any event really). As much as I really want to celebrate my friends getting married, I simultaneously feel stressed as to have I’m gonna phrase this. I know there are people out there with far greater difficulties than me, even within my friend circle probably, which makes me even more frustrated about my worry. I’m positive I will get through it of course. I even know despite my definite self torment of reviewing my ‘performance’ I will get by.  But I still feel slightly anxious about it. I used to be ok attending events with strangers when I could smalltalk about my work and then swiftly...
Post a Comment
Read more