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Nr. 32

It’s August already. 

Today I have been doing research. I skimmed through a vast selection on books written by people who lost their sibling in suicide. This is partly to see what is already out there, but also to check if it would even be possible for someone without credentials in either literature or psychology to do a book on this subject. And apparently it is. So that’s a good start. 

To borrow some lines from Jon Stewart: {I’m slowly starting to form an outline of a framework...of an outline...for a potential draft...of a pre-final tentative idea of what I want to say...pending approval.} Because even though this book idea is mainly for my own therapeutic need, I don’t want to be naive about it either. I want it to be as well written as possible. The balance act I need to uphold is between having that joy of writing for the sake of just letting my mind work, and keeping my perfectionism in check so I don’t end up deleting everything I write. I basically need to allow my writing to suck in order for it to be done. Preferably I could spike some perfectionism in here and there, but that’s not really how it works. But I will at least make an effort to form more coherent content than I do in this blog! 😅 (and the book probably won’t contain emojis...or maybe?? Probably not...).

I know this will take such a long time and that both pains and disappointments me. But I need to allow myself that patience. I know I would give that to anyone else so I should include myself as well. “Be your own friend.» 


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