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Nr. 33

Still going through ‘A History of Western Philosophy’. With 800 pages and a rampant 2x speed on Scribd I feel my mind is about to explode. It’s like injecting 200 different ideas with contradictions and oppositions all at once. I might have been a bit too ambitious in trying to swallow this mammoth in just 4 days. I might need to double that just in order to comprehend what Bertrand Russell is arguing. 

So far it is (despite my introductory whining) actually a good “easy” read. It does portray a certain bias and selective content, however I do feel that’s his prerogative as the author and an esteemed philosopher. 
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I didn’t sleep until 9am this morning and I haven’t yet eaten today. I don’t feel particularly hungry either, but my stomach seems to disagree with me. 

I am still dealing with my depression, but I have decided to tone down talking about it both publicly and privately. I think I should deal with this in silence and with my psychiatrist. I think it actually makes things worse to worry people. I’m not sad about keeping it to myself though, it is perhaps a natural evolving thing. On the brighter side of it I haven’t felt suicidal at all lately. Maybe this blog is helping in some way? It’s slowly starting to ease into a place I feel I can hold it in check if I don’t move or stir it. This is not a sustainable approach, but it does buy me time until I can sort this out with my psychiatrist. 

There, that’s the last and the end of it. I promise 😅 




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